Avoiding the “Either-Or” Trap

A manager I’m coaching recently told me, “I can either do the job right and miss the deadline, or I can produce poor quality work and meet my boss’ deadline.” On a personal note, my youngest daughter, Brianne told me, “I can either be in bed by 10, not study and fail my earth science test, or I can stay up to study and get a good grade.” She went on to add, “If I fail the test, it’s going to be your fault.” How’s that negotiation tactic? For an 11-year-old, I think it’s brilliant.

Have you ever had an employee use the either-or tactic on you? Employees love to use the either-or tactic when it comes to resisting a new change.

For years, engineers have rightfully told us that when it comes to quality, time and cost, you can only choose two of the three variables. Meaning, if you want the cheapest product and you want it fast, you can’t choose to also have quality. Or, if you want the highest quality product and are given the time to produce it, it’s going to have a higher cost. In today’s world, to be innovative and successful, you have to work to continuously improve all three. If you don’t, a competitor will swoop in and steal market share.

The minute someone resorts to an either –or strategy there are three things that happen. First, options are limited down to only two alternatives. Second, the possibility of obtaining both options is now gone. And third, the possibility of any innovation or creativity is now eliminated. The only time when the either-or strategy is beneficial and should be utilized by leaders is when the decision is value-based. For example, a leader may tell an employee, “Either, you’re going to provide consistent, outstanding service to our customers or you might not work here anymore.” That would be an appropriate use of the either-or strategy.

The following four tips will help you avoid falling into the either-or trap or countering a counterpart when they use the either-or strategy against you.

Ask “is it possible” questions: When someone tells you that your option is either X or Y, ask them a question that starts with, “Is it possible that…” For example, you can ask, “Is it possible that we could make a high quality product at a lower price?” Apple is working through that very question in developing a new and cheaper iPhone.

Ask “what happens if” questions: When people are stuck in an either-or decision making mode, a good strategy is to ask a “what happens if” question. For example, “What happens if you meet your boss’ deadline for the report but there are a lot of errors in the report?” When I asked a manager this question recently he responded, “I’ll be fired.” When he agreed that being fired was not his goal, we figured out how he could get an error free report turned in on time.

Develop other options: When you’re stuck in either-or thinking, pause for a moment and ask yourself, “What other options may work in this situation?” This strategy works best when you’re stuck and feel that you have the best or only option. Almost always, there’s something else you can do that will improve the situation. either-or decision making is cherished by people who truly believe there are no other options or alternatives.

Take a break: Stress breeds either-or decision making. When you are tired or stressed, you lose your ability to think creatively and truly believe that you only have one option, and your options are limited. Take a break. Get creative. There are probably five more ways you can resolve this problem but when you are stressed or tired, it is not a good time to break the grip of either-or decision making.

The either-or fallacy is sometimes referred to as the false dilemma because rarely, are there only two possible outcomes to an issue. Great leaders push themselves to think creatively for more and better solutions to what appears, on the surface, to be an either-or decision.