The “Either-Or” Trap

Have you ever had an employee tell you: “I can do it correctly, or I can do it on time, but not both.” My kids use this on me all the time, “I can do my homework or my chores, but not both.” Clever for a kid. My response is always, “Then, I guess you don’t have time for your iPad and Xbox either.” Somehow, they now find time to get their homework, chores and electronics all in. It is a little easier to negotiate with a kid than an employee. I have had many executives tell me similar stories with their employees. I was recently advising an executive who shared with me an employee told him, “I can either do the job right and miss the deadline, or I can produce poor quality work and meet the deadline.” If you have had this strategy used on you, they used the “either-or” tactic.

You have also probably seen this tactic used in the service industry.  I was in an award shop the other day and they had a plaque on the wall that read: “Quality, Quick, Price. – Pick two.”  Meaning, you can have it fast and at a low price, but you give up quality. Or you can have quality and receive it quickly, but you pay a higher price. This is also the “either-or” strategy at play. In today’s world, to be innovative and successful, you have to work to continuously improve all three. If you don’t, a competitor will, as well as swoop in and steal market share.

We find that difficult employees (or teenagers) are masters at utilizing the “either-or” strategy. When this is used, remember one thing. This strategy is typically used by an employee (or child) to avoid accountability or change. The minute someone resorts to an “either-or” strategy there are three things that happen. First, options are limited down to only two alternatives. Second, the possibility of obtaining both options is now gone. And third, the possibility of any innovation or creativity is now eliminated.

If someone is using the “either-or” strategy on you, use the following tips to avoid the “either-or” trap and create a win-win outcome instead.

Ask “is it possible” questions: When someone tells you that your option is either X or Y, ask them a question that starts with, “Is it possible that…”  For example, you can ask, “Is it possible that we could make a high-quality product at a lower price?” Apple had to ask that question when they developed a cheaper iPhone XR and XS.

Ask “what happens if” questions:  When people are stuck in an “either-or” decision-making mode, a good strategy is to ask a “what happens if” question. For example, “What happens if you meet your boss’s deadline for the report but there are a lot of errors in the report?”  When I asked a manager this question recently, he responded, “I’ll be fired.” When he agreed that being fired was not his goal, we figured out how he could get an error-free report turned in on time.

Switch ‘or’ with ‘and’: Recognize that creating a win-win outcome requires you to start using the word ‘and.’ An “either-or” strategy divides people into camps. A strategy that discusses and connects two points of view is the use of the word “and.” It brings people together and doubles the number of people committed to finding an innovative and successful solution.

Clarify expectations: If the “either-or” scenario is used by a difficult employee (or in my case, a challenging teenager) to circumvent accountability, firmly remind them of the expectations. Say something along the lines of, “I need someone in your position who is able to run a profitable team with high employee morale.” If the employee continues to debate that this isn’t possible, you can ask an even tougher question. “If I need someone in your position who is able to run a profitable team with high employee morale, and you are telling me it’s impossible, are you also telling me that you are not fully qualified for this position?” Most difficult people will realize where this train of thought could ultimately lead, will tell you that they are fully qualified, and will start coming with additional options.

Take a break: Stress breeds “either-or” decision making. When you are tired or stressed, you lose your ability to think creatively and truly believe that you only have one option, and your options are limited. Take a break. Get creative. There are probably five more ways you can resolve this problem but when you are stressed or tired, it is not a good time to break the grip of “either-or” decision making.

The only time when the “either-or” strategy is beneficial and should be utilized by leaders is when the decision is value-based. For example, a leader may tell an employee, “Either, you’re going to provide consistent, outstanding service to our customers, or you might not work here anymore.” That would be an appropriate use of the “either-or” strategy.

The “either-or” fallacy is sometimes referred to as the false dilemma because rarely are there only two possible outcomes to an issue. Great leaders push themselves to think creatively for more and better solutions to what appears, on the surface, to be an “either-or” decision.