Confidence vs. Arrogance: 9 Tips for Confident Leaders

I’m working with an executive who is highly confident, but people describe him as being arrogant.  It’s interesting because there is a very fine line between being confident and being arrogant. So, what does a confident and competent leader look like?  Here are 9 characteristics of a leader who has confidence and, most likely, would not be described as arrogant.

#1 – You need to have a positive vision about you as a leader and about your role in the organization.  What’s neat about the word vision is that it’s just a fancy word for a clear mental picture of the outcome and what is important to know about visions, is everybody has one. They have one of three. Vision number one is a positive one and that is this. Tomorrow is going to be even better on my team and in our organization and I’m going to tell you why.  I’m helping to lead it. Vision number two is a vision of the status quo. These are team members who just want to hang on to what they got. And, vision number three, almost all of you have had one of these employees. They have a bad vision. They look at you and they say, “You think today is bad. Just wait! Tomorrow is going to be even worse.” Here’s the sad thing about difficult employees who have a bad vision. They are never leaving you.  They are with you for life. They don’t like you. They don’t like the organization, but they are never going to leave and it’s important to know why. It’s their vision. They actually believe the next organization will actually be worse than the organization they currently work at.  And, they are actually right because at the next organization, if they exhibited the same behaviors they exhibit here, express the same resistance to change that they exhibit here, they probably wouldn’t last longer than six weeks. So, #1 – Bring a positive vision to work.

#2 – Admit when you don’t know things.  This one alone will separate you as a confident leader than an arrogant leader.  And, you ask why? It’s only confident people that say, I actually don’t know but let me do some research and I’ll get back to you.  

#3 on our list is we encourage this. Talk less, listen more. My dad once told me this. Number one. Your ears will never get you in trouble. Your mouth will. And number two, people like you so much better when they talk. Get to know people.  Listen to them which indirectly says you value them, and you care about them and it will help you to build as a competent leader.

#4 – Admit your mistakes.  It’s only confident people who can say this.  I screwed up and I am so grateful to have the team that I work with that, not only caught it, but fixed it so it didn’t negatively impact others in the organization.

#5 – Only confident leaders trust others and can empower others to get the job done. In fact, arrogant people don’t trust others because of their arrogance.  They believe this and, rightfully so. Others in the organization would love to trip them up and make them look bad. Confident people trust others, can delegate, can empower and then praise and recognize success.

#6 – Confident leaders can express gratitude.  They can be in a meeting when someone gives them praise and recognition for the success of their team and only a confident leader can say this.  I’m so grateful for this feedback that I need you to know I’m really blessed to work with the team I have. And, it’s not me who actually deserves the credit but, Robin, who lead this entire initiative.  I’m going to share this feedback with them but I hope, also, that when you see them in the hall, you can also say thank you.

#7 – Accept compliments graciously.  When confident people receive a compliment, they are able to look someone in the eye and say this.  I wanna say thank you for saying that. It makes me feel so good. People who lack confidence actually put the compliment down.  You say, what does that look like. For example, I was just doing my job. It indirectly trashes someone who gives you a compliment and the only thing it guarantees is that they probably won’t give you a compliment another time.  Confident people like compliments and you want to encourage the people who care enough about you to give it.

#8 and this is a big one. In moments of crisis, I need you to get calmer, at times to get quieter, take charge of the situation and improve the condition of your team.  I recently worked on a project, where when the department had a crisis, the person in charge actually lost it. Started yelling, started swearing, then crying and the only thing you can guarantee in that situation is when there is a crisis instead of getting calmer, getting quieter and improving the condition of the team, they did the exact opposite, put others down and made the situation worse. 

And here’s #9 and it’s a big one.  Produce massive results. Most people, when they produce results, feel really good about himself or herself and really confident in the role they do.

Leadership is not easy.  Leading without confidence is almost impossible.  And you ask why. Because people don’t follow leaders who lack confidence.  Put these 9 tips to use today and become a confident, not arrogant, leader.