Last week, I found myself one of the last two people at the airport baggage turnstile. The turnstile was going around and around but, unfortunately, my luggage was not on it. The other gentleman whose luggage did not arrive proceeded over to the lost luggage counter. He thought the way he could get the counter person to find his lost luggage quicker was to yell at her. It was her quick-witted response to this gentleman I will never forget. After being yelled at for about one minute, she quietly replied, “Sir, it is 11:55 p.m. and there are only two people in this whole world who care about your lost luggage. I need you to know, one of them is rapidly losing interest.”

Almost every person has had an experience in dealing with a difficult person, employee or customer. The following ten tips will help create a win-win in difficult situations.

When you need help, ask for it. One of the realities of dealing with difficult customers is that they seem to show up when you and your organization are incredibly busy. In fact, that is one of the reasons why customer problems occur in the first place. Because we are so busy, some things just slip through the cracks. Whenever you feel stressed or overwhelmed, the last thing you need is a difficult or angry customer. Then the best thing you can do is ask a fellow employee or manager for assistance in helping you solve the problem. Teamwork makes difficult situations much easier to handle.

Develop your positive mental attitude. Wouldn’t it be great if every customer were a perfect customer? A customer who needed no instructions and the only time they spoke to you was to give you a compliment? One perception that will help you deal with difficult customers is to understand that, without customers who have problems, your contributions may not be needed. If every customer were a perfect customer, we would need less managers and less staff. One of the reasons you are specifically needed is to deal with people and situations that others cannot. Become an expert at difficult situations. That is why you are there.

Stay objective–do not get hooked. Customers sometimes say things to trigger a response from you. A great mental picture is to visualize the customer dropping a hook down in front of your mouth. What is important to understand is that whether you swallow the hook or not is your choice. Most times, when you feel angry or defensive, the best thing you can do is ask the customer a question. We heard a manager say, “I am sorry your order was not delivered on time as we promised. What can I do to help make this situation better for you?”

Let the customer unwind. As long as the customer is talking–or venting, let the customer continue. The worst thing you can do is cut the person off and start talking. Let the customer vent, listen to determine the real needs, and begin thinking of the specific actions you can take to help improve the situation.

Reward the customer. This sounds funny, but we recommend that you thank the customer for bringing the problem to your attention. Only approximately 4 percent of your customers have the guts to call you and tell you about their problem. The other 96 percent quietly walk away and never say a word to anyone. When someone tells you there is a problem with you or your organization, thank that person. He or she is truly a valuable customer.

Respond first to the customer’s emotion, then to the facts. When customers complain, they are most often angry or upset. An appropriate response might be, “I know that you are frustrated that the product was not delivered on time. Let me pull up your record and see what we can do to get this problem rectified.” By acknowledging the emotion, the customer knows that you are listening and that you do care.

Keep your cool. In fact, when a customer is angry or upset, we recommend you actually get calmer. Speak quietly. Trail your voice off at the end of your sentence. This method will indirectly create a calming effect on your customer. The worst thing you can do is escalate your voice. It will only make the customer more upset and angry.

Offer alternative solutions. Instead of telling a customer what you cannot do, provide the customer with alternative solutions and let the person choose. A manager might reply, “We can correct the problem tomorrow and ship it to you FedEx. Or, if you are not in a hurry, we can ship it by regular mail. Which would be best for you?” Give your customer options.

Take immediate action. The one thing that will make a customer even more difficult is the feeling that nothing is being done to solve the problem. Assuring the customer that something is being done is critical to your success. Respond quickly to customer problems and state what actions you are going to take to solve the problem. The longer the customer perceives it takes you to solve the problem, the greater chance the severity of the situation will escalate.

Follow-up. If you want to be remembered for an organization that provides GREAT service, it is critical that you follow-up with your customers to ensure that the customer is satisfied. Once the problem is resolved, call the customer, and say, “I just wanted to make sure everything was okay and that the problem was resolved to your satisfaction.” The customer will remember that you and your organization really do care about the level of service they provide.

You can also help your employees deal with difficult customers by sharing the above ten tips with them. Empower your staff with the confidence and latitude to resolve the problem without having to pass the customer on or take a message. Remember to reinforce their skills by giving praise when you catch them “doing something right.”

If you would like to receive the Tactic of the Week, visit our book page www.peterstark.com/negotiatingguide and fill-in the subscribe box. With this subscription, you will receive a tactic each week along with a counter to the tactic to ensure your negotiating success.

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With the pandemic and people still working from home, we hear from some that they have a hard time turning work off. While managers have staff working all hours of the day, that stretches out their day to the point that they are literally working day and night. This isn’t healthy for the manager, the direct reports, or the organization.

Managers tell us that they love what they do so it’s not really work. Although this may be factually correct, someone is going to suffer in this relationship. Maybe it won’t be the manager, but it could be the manager’s family or the people who have to work with the manager.

Working non-stop sends a message to the people in your life, both at work and at home. The message your friends and family receive is that you value work over spending time with them. If you have kids, this message can have life-long consequences. To your employees, constantly working signifies that you—and maybe even the company—value work over individuals.

It’s important to recognize that you model what you want your employees to emulate. An employee recently told me that he was hesitant to ask their boss for vacation time for fear of how his boss might respond since his boss never takes time away from work.

So what can you do to ensure that you have a well-balanced work and personal life? Speaking from personal experience, here are 10 tips that our team has put into play that have made a significant difference in improving our work-life balance:

1. Make a to-do list: Make a to-do list of what you need to accomplish tomorrow before you leave today. When the list is complete, prioritize what’s most important and what needs to be done first. And, you may not be able to get everything done at the end of the day, but at least you know that you can accomplish the most important tasks because you have identified them. If you can’t finish everything on your list, don’t worry—that’s why you’re coming back to work tomorrow.
2. Leave work at work: If you are back in the office, leave it in the trunk of your car or leave it at work. If you are working from home, put it away in a briefcase or drawer and turn off your computer. It is important to remember that you are not needed at work as much as you think you are. If you were wacked by a truck on the way home, the chances that someone will be able to do your work, are high. Since that may not be enough to motivate most workaholics, remember that Paul Tsongas said, “Nobody on his deathbed ever said, ‘I wish I had spent more time at the office.’”
3. Stay on top of your email everyday: Email is burying many managers and they find that they are spending all their time catching up on emails after hours. Schedule time in your day to catch up on emails. Even if that means you block off time on your calendar, so you are not booked elsewhere.
4. Build margin into your life: If you need to be somewhere at 5:30 pm, make sure you block off time in your calendar to leave at the right time so you can arrive early.
5. Buy tickets: If you buy tickets at the beginning of the year for your vacations, concerts, shows, etc., you’ll discover something wonderful: when you have tickets, you always find the time to go. As things start to open back up again, be on the lookout for things you want to do and book it.
6. Take notes: Create a system for writing down the things you need to remember to do. Worrying about the stuff you haven’t written down is what wakes you up in the middle of the night in a panic. Learn to utilize an electronic ‘to-do’ so you can add to it anywhere. 
7. Plan down time: Schedule time where you can turn off your email and computer and truly enjoy being disconnected.
8. Exercise: To prevent stress from taking over your life, you need a healthy mind and body. Regular exercise is key. Realize that you don’t need to be motivated to continue exercising, you only need to be motivated to start. As Nike says, Just Do It. Once you get moving, you’ll find it easier to accomplish your fitness goals.
9. Live in the moment: When you are home, be home. People tend to worry about work stuff when they’re at home and home stuff when they’re at work. Since most worries never materialize, it’s a total waste of what could be an enjoyable moment.
10. Decide to be happy: Research tells us that about 40 percent of a person’s happiness is a decision they make. Last week, I asked a gentleman how he was and he replied, “I am on the right side of the ground; therefore I am well and I am happy.” Happiness is a choice. There are people out there who are only happy when they are unhappy…let them be that way. After all, it’s their choice.

All of us are being asked to do more with less. On top of the stress of this workload, the world is changing faster than it ever has. Combine doing more with less with the accelerated pace of change and it becomes clear that something has got to give. That something is up to you. With the above ten strategies, we know that you will take one step closer to better balancing your priorities.

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I once negotiated the purchase of a car with three different dealers. The first two were clearly only interested in making a sale that benefitted them, so I moved on. The third dealer made it clear that, although he wanted to sell me a car at a price suitable to him, he was also interested in meeting my unique needs and sending me away a satisfied customer; he threw in some extra upgrades and an extended service agreement. I drove off content with my new car and when it came time to purchase another car, you can guess which salesperson I returned to.

In most negotiations, fostering a cooperative atmosphere increases the chances of a win-win outcome. When each party obtains something of greater value in exchange for something on which he or she places a lower value, both parties win. Each of them may have wished for more, but at least they are both satisfied and will be willing to negotiate again later.

Some negotiators have a strong reputation for consistently achieving win-win outcomes in their negotiations. To achieve this favorable reputation for yourself, keep the following guidelines in mind.

1. Avoid narrowing the negotiation down to one issue. Focusing on just one issue sets the scene for a win-lose outcome. The most common example is arguing over the price of a product or service. To avoid getting stuck on one issue such as price, try to visualize a juggler. A juggler does not juggle just one ball. In fact, the best jugglers are those who juggle several difficult objects—like knives. Keep this picture in mind when you negotiate: Let’s say you want to buy 100 mid-range, pro-level tablets for your corporation and your budget is $1,000 per tablet. The model you prefer is listed for $1,299 per tablet. You may be tempted to lock on to the price issue and do your best to get the tablets discounted to $1,000. Why? Because price is the easiest and most logical deal point to discuss. If you take this tack, you may be successful at reducing the price, but you take the chance of laying the foundation for a lose-lose outcome. Keeping that juggler in mind, a better strategy would be to bring up additional deal points to negotiate, such as delivery date, financing, upgrades, warranty, training, and support—all of which contribute to the overall “price” of the product. Bringing multiple issues to the table provides the opportunity for you to “juggle” the deal points to create a win-win outcome.

2. Realize that your counterpart does not have the same needs and wants you do. If you do not take this factor into consideration, you negotiate with the idea that your gain is your counterpart’s loss, and vice versa. With that attitude, it is virtually impossible to create a win-win negotiation outcome. In the computer example above, most negotiators would assume that the number-one goal of each counterpart would be to get the best respective price. But if price were the most important factor for all buyers, they would all purchase the cheapest computer, and no other model would ever be sold! The reason there are so many models is that buyers almost always have needs other than price that drive the outcome in negotiations.

3. Do not assume you know your counterpart’s needs. It’s very common for negotiators to assume they know exactly what their counterpart wants. For example, a salesperson “knows” that the buyer wants to buy the product or service at the lowest possible price. That may be true—but the buyer may have a much more powerful need that influences his or her decision to buy. By asking probing questions, the sales- person may discover other relevant facts, for example, that the buyer’s biggest concern is what his or her boss will think about the wisdom of the purchase decision.

By utilizing the three critical elements of a negotiation you can start to achieve a win-win negotiation outcome and build on your reputation as a trustworthy negotiator that people return to again and again.

If you want to take your conflict management skills to the next level and build lasting, win-win relationships with customers that will benefit you for years to come, purchase our new book “The Only Negotiating Guide You’ll Ever Need” or contact us for more information on how a Negotiation Skills Training workshop could benefit you, your team and your company for years to come.

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You think you’ve seen it all. Going through the TSA checkpoint at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport recently, I heard a frustrated woman tell a TSA agent, “What else can I expect from someone who makes $10.00 an hour?” The TSA agent didn’t say a word, but promptly took all her bags to secondary inspection. I felt like giving this woman a little coaching by telling her, “When you open your mouth and say something really stupid, secondary inspection is exactly what you deserve.” But, I practiced what I preach and didn’t say anything stupid.

A good portion of our practice is coaching executives and managers to be successful leaders. To be successful as a leader, you need to be able to build relationships where people are highly motivated to follow your passion, vision and direction. Some people are masters at saying the right thing to build relationships teamwork and motivate people accomplish great things. On the other hand, we have all watched someone open their mouth and literally repel people away with their words.

When we watch people open their mouth and say something that ultimately undermines their ability to achieve their own goals, we silently think, “What were they thinking?” For instance, I remember an NFL football player who told the referee that he “stunk” after being called off-side. The referee called a second penalty for un-sportsmanlike conduct.

Some people seem to have the knack for saying the right thing at the right time. Others seem like God forgot to give them the “filter” that allows them to not say everything they think. Here are 6 tips to help you build even stronger relationships when you speak.

Remember, words are permanent. It’s easy to say something mean and hurtful under the umbrella of honesty.  “Hey, sorry this hurts, but I’m just being honest,” is a phrase we have all said or heard. The reality is there are a lot of things in life that don’t need to be said.  Better yet, there are a lot of things in life that don’t need to be said by you. It’s important to acknowledge that your words are permanent. Once you say them, they have a lasting impact on people in either a negative or positive way.

Think before you speak. Knowing that your words are permanent, ask yourself what you want to accomplish by opening your mouth.  Is your goal to build someone up, or to tear them down? Great leaders work diligently on saying the right things to motivate people to move in the right direction. While there are times leaders need to give people really tough feedback, great leaders work hard at saying it in a constructive way that will successfully accomplish the goal.

Shut up and listen.  A great rule of thumb is to get other people to talk first. When you understand where others are coming from, it makes it a lot easier to do two important things. First, you can carefully choose the right words for your response. Second, you can respond with empathy and a better understanding of where your counterpart is coming from. Listening is especially important when there is disagreement. Instead of talking with diarrhea of the mouth, stop, think, and choose your words carefully to ensure you achieve your goals.

Ask before giving advice.  Don’t give others advice unless they ask for your advice. If someone doesn’t agree with you, there’s a good chance that talking more and listening less won’t help you be more persuasive. My dad said it best, “people like you so much better when they do the talking.” If you feel the need to give people your advice, first ask if they would like to hear your opinion.

Be confident. People who lack confidence feel more of a need to tell others what they know. People who have a high level of confidence feel much more comfortable being silent and thinking about what others are really saying before they open their mouth to speak. For confident communicators, silence can be golden.

Be grateful. When you are grateful for the people and places in your life, it’s a lot easier to speak in a positive and meaningful way that will motivate others to want to be closer to you and help you accomplish mutual goals.

The next time you feel your emotion brewing and your frustration rising, think your thought… just don’t say it. By putting these six tips into play, you will significantly increase your chances of both building even stronger relationships and achieving your goals through effective communication.

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In the video above, the Pawn Stars share tips gleaned from their years of experience of daily negotiations with many different customers. One thing to keep in mind while watching the video and reading this newsletter: these negotiation lessons extend to the world outside of pawn shops as well.

While working on your next deal, follow these negotiation tips from Pawn Stars for a successful outcome:

1. Treat everyone with respect. This is something that is clearly emphasized by the Pawn Stars. What most of our parents taught us about how to treat others was solid advice in the world of negotiation. If you treat everyone with courtesy and respect, you will have few problems dealing with people and you will be able to finalize more deals. Why be courteous and respectful to a pawn shop dealer? Because they will do equally well without your life-long treasure. If you can’t sell your product to a private party, and now, because of your lack of courtesy and respect, the pawn shop worker no longer wants to deal with you, when you leave, you will have very few options.

Continue reading article

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Find out your negotiating style by participating in our unofficial study. In one month we’ll publish an infographic with the percentages of each style and which industries you might expect to find them: the more people who take the test, the better! If you’d like to see the results sooner, connect with us through Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn.

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Several times a year, participants will ask us, “Do you have any tips on how to ask for a pay raise?” Any negotiation regarding a sensitive issue like a raise can be difficult to negotiate. It is difficult because if your boss agrees to the raise, it almost always has multiple implications like an impact to her budget or creating a situation where other employees feel they are also entitled to a raise. For you, not getting the raise could ultimately impact your ability to live in the style you envision or have become accustomed to living. Asking for a raise can also be a risk. Not asking for a raise can carry a personal price. So, if you are going to tackle this topic, you need a plan. The following 10 tips will help you in maximizing your chances of obtaining a raise.

1. Build your reputation. When we use the word “reputation,” it is important to note that there are only two types of reputations: Good ones and bad ones. Everything in the middle is not a reputation. Do you do exactly what is required for your job or do your contributions significantly stand out because you out-perform your competition? For example, do you work exactly your scheduled hours or are you willing to put in extra effort when required? Do you volunteer for additional assignments? Do you have a cheerful attitude when requests are made for your assistance? Do you take the time to solve the tough problems at work? The tougher the problems you are able to solve for your team or organization, the higher your perceived value when you negotiate a raise.

   The best opportunity to receive a raise is when your boss feels that results you produce are significant. To put it another way, if your boss feels it would be difficult for her to be as successful as she is in the eyes of her boss, without your contributions and results, you are in a much stronger position when you ask for a raise. When you produce results, your success rate in receiving a raise increases significantly.

2. Think about timing. In terms of how to ask for a pay raise, timing is everything. Is your company financially strong or is it struggling to make ends meet? The best time to ask for a raise is when your company is financially strong, out performing the budget, your performance is stellar, and you have a great relationship with your boss.
3. Know what you are worth. In asking for a raise, it is critical that you know the value of your worth. Value can be divided into two arenas. Your intrinsic value to your current company and your extrinsic value to other potential employers. Your extrinsic value is your marketable worth to other organizations who would value the gifts and talents you could bring to their organization. It is important to understand the difference between your intrinsic and extrinsic value because it could play a large role in your decisions in what you ask for and what you receive when asking for a raise. For example, you may hold a bachelor’s degree and be an excellent writer. If your company has you in a position that does not utilize your writing skills or the education you learned in obtaining your degree, you will have low intrinsic value. But, you could market yourself to other organizations because in this case, most likely you will have a higher extrinsic value to another organization.

   The best way to know what you are worth is to search the current job market. You can find salary information quite easily. Two of the most widely known sites for salary information are www.salary.com and www.payscale.com. This type of information is critical to your success.

   Ensure that your research is accurate. Nothing will give you more credibility and confidence than knowing your research is 100 percent accurate. And, nothing will cause you to lose credibility faster than your boss pointing out there are holes in your research. Be sure you are comparing apples to apples.

4. Clarify your goals. For some people, working close to home is very important to them when seeking and maintaining employment. Some people place the highest value on how they are treated by the boss and others in the work environment. For others, having a specific title or working in a specific industry is what is most important to them. For some, medical or retirement benefits are key. And last, there are some people that the only thing that matters to them is how much money they make on an hourly, monthly or annual basis. The reason we encourage you to clarify these personal goals is you may be successful in achieving your raise, but if the boss is a jerk, or you have to sit in rush hour traffic for two hours each day, have you really achieved personal success? Success is all about the accomplishment of achieving your pre-determined goals. Being confident about your personal goals is helpful in knowing what to ask for from your boss.

   Set a monetary goal. Be clear on what you feel is fair and be able to explain in detail why you feel that amount of raise is fair. Decide on the minimum amount you are willing to accept (bottom line), your level of comfort, and your wish (the salary you would walk out the door and when you are out of your boss’ earshot, you would scream with excitement).

5. Prepare for your meeting. Before you meet with your boss, you must be prepared and feel confident you have earned the right to ask for a raise. It will be helpful to have typed out information such as the highlights of your three most significant accomplishments. It will also be helpful to focus on how you will add significant value in three or four areas that you are responsible for in the year to come. Be careful not to highlight things such as the fact that you show up to work on time each day, but rather focus on significant accomplishments such as the fact that you have exceeded your sales quota by 50 percent or more each quarter.

   In preparing for this meeting, you will want to walk in with options. Options may include:

   • Getting the raise you want when you have the meeting with your boss
   • Getting no raise and waiting until your next review
   • Being reassigned to a new position with more responsibility that pays more money
   • Taking on additional responsibilities
   • If you are not happy with the raise, or you get no raise, will you go back to work and continue on with your job displaying the behaviors of a happy camper or will you go back to your desk and pout or contribute less than your full potential? If you do so, you are on strike or are participating in a work slowdown
   • Will you quit on the spot?
   • Will you go back to your desk and commence with a job search?
   • Will you ask for something else besides money like a bigger office, a laptop, the ability to work from home or work part-time instead of full-time?
   • If you cannot get a raise today, what will you have to do differently or when will your boss commit to giving you a raise?

   Last, it will be helpful to know your boss’ needs and goals and demonstrate how your future significant accomplishments will ensure that your boss is even more successful.

6. Role play prior to meeting with your boss. We encourage you to have someone role play with you so you can gain practice in stating your case and asking your boss for a raise. Let the counterpart play the role of your boss. The counterpart should be encouraged to ask the tough questions a boss is likely to ask, provide objections such as budgetary restraints or that a raise is not possible at this time. Role play two or three times and you will feel your level of confidence rise with each practice.
7. Meet with your boss. When you meet with your boss, have an agenda that follows these basic guidelines:
   • Schedule a meeting in advance with your boss. If the meeting is not scheduled and one afternoon the boss says to you, “I’ve got time, let’s talk now,” you may not be prepared
   • Have a transition statement prepared to help bridge the discussion from small talk to “raise” talk. For example, you might say, “I am really grateful for the opportunity to meet with you this afternoon. I want to talk about my past accomplishments, my future contributions to the company, and specifically about my compensation.”
   • Lead your boss through a five minute presentation that outlines your past significant accomplishments; your proposed significant future contributions; and review your salary survey research. We do not recommend giving your boss the outline of this presentation on paper prior to your meeting. Giving this to your boss in advance may create a wall of adversity that would not be there when you meet one-on-one
   • Be aware of positive nonverbal communication. We encourage you to sit at a conference table close to your boss. The worst scenario is your boss sitting behind her desk. Positive nonverbal communication includes: leaning forward in your chair; eye contact with your boss; hands and arms open and legs uncrossed. To get your boss to mirror the positive nonverbal behaviors you can ask your boss open ended questions or share information on paper with your boss where she has to lean forward to effectively follow your information or talking points. Remember, your boss will most likely not concede to your raise when she is exhibiting negative nonverbal communication
   • Confirm deal points in writing. If a raise is agreed to, confirm when the raise will go into effect and how much the raise will be. If a raise is not an option at this time, confirm in writing what the conditions and time frames are that need to be met to be eligible for a raise
   • Thank your boss for meeting with you and hopefully, for giving you a raise. Bosses do not get enough positive feedback. Take the time to thank your boss even if the raise is not everything you had hoped for or if you got no raise at all. One of the greatest tests of an employee’s character is how they handle success and even more telling is how they handle rejection or adversity
8. Stay objective. Never resort to an emotional plea such as explaining that you do not have enough money to pay your mortgage or car payment. Bosses are not responsible for ensuring that you can live within your financial means. You are much better off focusing on your past contributions, future contributions and what the salary surveys tell and your boss what you are worth.
9. Anticipate objections. Almost every boss is going to provide you with some type of objection when it comes to asking for a raise. This is no time to make weak emotional responses like, “I really need a raise so I can make my new car payment” or, “It doesn’t hurt to try to ask for a raise.” This is the time you want to stay objective and once again review: what your past significant accomplishments are; what your future significant contributions are going to be; and what market research states about a fair salary for a person in your position.

   Some of the classic boss objections or counters include:

   Objection: “Right now, you are the highest paid person in your job category at our company.”

   Counter: Do not focus the comparison of your salary on what other people inside the company currently make. Focus your comparisons on what other competitive companies are paying people in your job category.

   Objection: Your boss states that he will not be able to sell his boss on another salary increase.

   Counter: Focus once again on your past significant accomplishments, your future significant contributions, and the research that supports your higher salary.

   Objection: “It is not in our budget.”

   Counter: Focus on the future. Gain agreement with your boss on what you need to do differently, starting today, to add even more value to the organization to justify increasing the budget and giving you a raise. Also gain your boss’ commitment on how your future success is going to be measured and within what time frame you will eligible to receive this raise.

   Objection: “You are pricing yourself out of the market.” Or, “This position does not warrant another increase in salary.” This is the boss’ way of telling you that you are becoming more expensive than the value your position is adding to the company.

   Counter: First, do not take this objection personally. Focus your conversation on what you need to do differently so that you continue to add more value to your boss and the organization

   Objection: “Let’s wait until your next performance review.” Bosses are great at putting off your raise until some future point in time.

   Counter: If your boss is adamant about waiting until some future point in time, tell your boss that you really need to evaluate your future with the company and you were hoping that something could be done regarding your salary right now.

   Counter: A second counter will be to once again focus on your significant accomplishments of the past, your commitments to adding future value to the organization, and gain your boss’ agreement of when your raise will become effective.

   Remember, one of the fastest ways to gain a raise, and at the same time effectively counter any of these objections, is to go out and find yourself a new job. When you have a job that you like, you will not leave it unless a new employer gives you a significant raise. New employers know this fact and usually put together an attractive package. If a new employer asks you what you currently make, or offers you a starting salary that is not a big enough incentive to leave a job you are happy with, a great line to tell your new potential employer is, “To leave my current job, my salary requirement is $xx,xxxx.”

10. Celebrate your success. Any time you get a raise, you need to celebrate. Yes, any raise, no matter how small. More money is more money. You can go through your whole life upset about the wage you earn and the sad part is no one is going to care how you feel about your current wage. Life is way too short to be an upset participant. So, with your new found money, go out and do what makes you happy. Maybe it is dinner and drinks out on the town. Maybe it is a movie or maybe it’s going out for a massage. Whatever brings you happiness, a raise is a time worthy of celebrating. Go for it!

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Negotiating Win-Win Outcomes

The best outcome in any negotiation is a win/win outcome. A win/win outcome allows both parties in the negotiation to walk away with a positive feeling and a sense of accomplishing their objectives. Since few negotiations are one-time affairs, a win/win outcome allows both parties to leave the door open for future negotiations.

 The Role of Power in Negotiating

Power is the ability to influence people or situations. Power itself is neither good or bad. It is the abuse of power that is bad. Power is of no value unless you take advantage of it, and the more you understand the various types of power the greater your influence over the other party and the outcome of the negotiation. You may find out you have more power than you think!

The Ideal Negotiator

When negotiating you will be dealing with one of three classic types of counterparts: sharks, carps, or dolphins. Each type have a different pattern and style of negotiating and makes different responses to your moves. Sharks tend to spend the majority of their time trying to control their counterparts and expect to conclude the negotiation with them being the winner and you the loser. Carps don’t like confrontation, and their response is to give in or get out. In contrast, dolphins spend the majority of the time building trust and rapport with their counterparts, knowing that a successful negotiation is one in which both parties needs are met.

 Nonverbal Negotiation Skills

Research in communication suggests that as much as 90 percent of the meaning transmitted between two people in face-to-face communication is via nonverbal channels! These statistics indicate that the importance of nonverbal negotiation skills cannot be overestimated. There are three stages in nonverbal negotiation: awareness of your counterpart, awareness of yourself, and using nonverbal communication to manage yourself and others. Once you’ve mastered these three basics, you will be more skilled at recognizing all the messages you and your counterpart in a negotiation are conveying, and better able to create win-win outcomes.

 The 15 Rules of Negotiation

If you think about those areas of your life where you feel deeply confident, chances are you€ve spent considerable time practicing the skill or art. Negotiation is no different. To become a great negotiator and gain confidence in your ability to influence outcomes, you have to spend time practicing the skills you will need to become proficient and confident. Fortunately, negotiation is a process that can be learned. By following the 15 rules outlined in this article, you can perfect your skills at negotiating deals in which everyone wins.

 Using Skillful Questioning in Negotiation

To create a win-win outcome you need to know your counterpart€s needs, wants, and goals. Skillful questioning provides you with the maximum amount of information possible for developing your negotiation strategies. Asking good questions in negotiations can be a challenging propositions and the guidelines in this article will help you decide what questions to ask, how to word them, and how to ask them.

 Listening Skills: A Key to Successful Negotiation

The best listeners almost always turn out to be the best negotiators. Negotiators who are poor listeners miss numerous opportunities to learn more about their counterpart€s needs and goals. To succeed in negotiations you have to understand the needs, wants and motivations of your counterpart. To understand, you must hear. To hear you must listen.

Additional Listening Skills to Sharpen Your Negotiation:

Interative Listening

 Negotiation: Putting Time and Information on Your Side

Time and information are two essential elements in any negotiation. The negotiation process begins long before you ever meet with the other party, and how your time is spent before the negotiation is extremely important. The side with the most information will have a definitive advantage over their counterpart.

 Negotiating Your Next Car

Buying a car can be a daunting task, but with the right information and preparation, you can get your dream car at a dream price. Car salespeople have earned a reputation as “slick” and seem to always have the upper hand in the transaction. This insightful article will give you the “inside scoop” on how to negotiate YOUR deal, and not get taken for a ride.

The Keys to Proper Questioning

Skillful questioning provides you with the maximum amount of information possible for developing your negotiation strategy. The two main types of questioning are:

Restrictive or closed-ended questions usually seek a specific bit of information, and the answer is often a simple “yes” or “no.”  But a desire to limit the answer to “yes” or “no” is not the only reason to ask a closed question.  This type of question can also serve a number of other useful purposes.

Expansive or open-ended questions yield much more useful information than closed-ended questions. Expansive questions tend to provide a window into your counterpart’s mind.